Busy Mums

Do What you always do and Get what you always got?

2007-07-27T12:59:00.000Z

If you are tearing your hair out with the weather and the kids are already driving you potty then you might want to try doing something different.

When life isn't going smoothly it can be really easy to grumble and moan about everything that is going wrong, or getting on your nerves, but never actually doing anything about it. (And then guess what things get even worse).

I know I am guilty of this sometimes. Sometimes it is because we are stuck and just can not decide on the best course of action to take. Sometimes it is just because we quite enjoying doing the victim thing.

Often we will seek the advice and support of friends who will share their solutions and observations of the situation, which we then completely ignore and carry on talking about our latest problem.

And if you are the one on the receiving end of the grumbling, how frustrating is that!

Perspective and objectivity is a great thing and we all possess it but not about ourselves.

So if something is getting you down or irritating you try taking a step back and tackling the problem in a different way.

Still stuck - then talk to a friend or a close family member and ask how they see the problem.

Listen to what they say and rather than disregard it with the familiar yes...... but.....syndrome, see how perhaps you can take some, or all of their wise words and use it.

You never know you might not get what you have always got but something different and a lot better.

Now I am off to take my own advice.

The good thing about Floods

2007-07-26T13:53:00.000Z

I am normally so profound but this is my thought for the day.

I am lucky enough (at the moment anyway) not to have been flooded out like many people throughout the UK seem to have been this summer. Sometimes it isn't till we lose something which we have taken for granted that we start to appreciate how lucky we were - or indeed are.

My husband's family live in Gloucester and although none of them have been flooded nearly all are currently without water. It seems like a real team effort is going on up there to help each other out and serve the wider community.

My Mum is always telling me that this was what it was like during the war....

The thing is that now most of the time we are just busy doing our own thing and it isn't until a crisis occurs either to us, or someone we know that we jump into action.

Sometimes such a small act of kindness or thoughtfulness can bring unexpected pleasure to the giver as much as the receiver.

Get more productive - Get some fresh Air

2007-07-03T12:40:00.000Z

Have you been outside today and got some fresh air?

Going for a walk - or even just sitting outside in the garden in the fresh air can be a real mood enhancer.

If you work in an office there maybe an unspoken pressure to work through lunch. Or perhaps you may feel that you have not time to take lunch. The thing is research shows that people are more productive, have greater creativity if they take breaks. And to take a break and get some fresh air, whatever the weather, whatever the season, will enhance your mood, give you more energy and ultimately that will lead to an increase in productivity.

Try it and keep a diary of the days you take lunch and get out in the fresh air and the days you don't. It works. I promise you will feel so much better and be so much more productive.

2007-06-29T11:20:00.000Z

Yesterday I put on my blog a list of fruit and veg which count as five per day. Today here are some further ideas of how you can make fruit and veg fun to eat.

Hope you find it helpful

More tips on getting our five fruit and veg a day

So how can we make sure we all get our quota.

Finger foods are popular with adults and children. Encourage fruit to be eaten at breakfast. Either on cereal or as finger food.

Any left overs can be saved for afternoon snacks later or packed up to be eaten later at lunchtime. (Banana's and apples may need a squeeze of lemonjuice to stop them discolourng.)

Chops up bananas, apples, or seasonal fruits. Supermarkets also sell a wide range of frozen fruit like pineapple.

What to do with that rotting fruit.

SAM'S TOP TIP

I have a very simple suggestion that I have found to work at getting pretty much ANY kid to eat fruit! Thankfully my little boy is not a fussy eater at all but some of his pals are!

If like me you find yourself chucking out fruit that goes off before anyone gets round to eating it, instead chuck it all in the blender - soft fruits & the juice from oranges work best if you are wanting something quick & easy but other fruit like apples can be cooked first.

I mix in a little honey if it needs sweetening but usually find that with pineapples, mangos, peaches and such like it is sweet enough. If I have yoghurts that are nearly out of date then they go in too. Basically make a smoothie or a juice drink out of anything you fancy.

Then pour the mixture into lolly moulds & freeze.

FRUITY POPS are the most fave pudding in our house!

Hope that might be useful - very simple I know but then I always find that best.

Eating Healthy Food - Five Fruit and Veg a day

2007-06-28T21:27:00.000Z

At Help for Busy Mums we like to do just that. Help.

So just to show you some of the "stuff" you can find on our website I thought I would let you take a look at our tips on Healthy Eating and making sure you eat your five fruit and veg a day. There's a lot of confusion about this... so I found this reference very useful. Hope you do too.

For more tips visit http://www.helpforbusymums.com

Eating Healthy Food

How to make sure you eat five fruit and veg a day

Are you getting enough vitamins and minerals?

What is a portion?

One portion is about 80 grams, which could be half a grapefruit, a slice of melon, a handful of grapes, an apple, two satsumas, three dried apricots or a tablespoon of raisins. One portion of veg could be three heaped tablespoons of peas, carrots or sweetcorn or a bowl of salad. A medium-sized glass of 100% fruit juice also counts.

What counts?

Fresh, frozen, tinned and dried fruit and vegetables.
Pure fruit and vegetable juices.
Veg in ready meals, takeaways, pasta sauces and soups.
Fruit in puddings.
But watch out for added salt/ fat/ sugar in takeaways and ready meals - check out the labels.

What doesn't?

Potatoes, because they are considered a 'starchy' food like bread and pasta, but these are all important parts of a healthy diet.
More than one glass of juice - even if you drink lots of it during the day, juice has hardly any fibre and has loads of sugar which is bad for your teeth.
More than one portion of beans or pulses a day, because they don't give the same mixture of vitamins and minerals as fruit and veg.
Jam. Vitamin pills and supplements, as they don't contain fibre.
Munching your favourite fruit or vegetable five times a day. You need to eat a variety to get the maximum benefits from all the different nutrients.

Are there any shortcuts?

Slice banana into your cereal.
Snack on an apple, banana, handful of grapes or raisins rather than a packet of crisps.
Have a glass of orange juice.
Dip veg sticks (e.g. carrots, celery) into salsa sauce.
Stuff salad bits such as cucumber, lettuce and tomato into your sarnies.
Add extra vegetables to pizza, pasta sauces and soups.
Stir fries, stews and casseroles are any easy way of combining up to nine vegetables in one go.
Replace stodgy puddings with a hunk of melon or a fruit salad.
Make a smoothie - blend low fat natural yoghurt with two handfuls of blackberries, blueberries or raspberries.
Make fruit kebabs by threading bite-sized chunks of apples, pears, strawberries and pineapple onto wooden skewers - you could even grill or barbeque them.

Paris Hilton and the floods and how she can help young women

2007-06-27T10:37:00.000Z

http://www.helpforbusymums.com from the website that helps busy mums.

As I was sitting eating my breakfast this morning I watched the pictures of flooding in South Yorkshire and the Midlands in horror. How would I feel if my house flooded?
Yes houses and areas of the UK have flooded before, but the scale of this seems immense and the possibility of a reservoir being breached and the damage that would result, seems catastrophic in proportion. I wondered what I would try and salvage.

This footage was immediately followed by an apology from Fiona Phillips on behalf of GMTV, who apparently had cut their news report the previous day to go live to the US and show Paris Hilton being released from jail.

There had been a number of complaints about whether under the circumstances this
was really very appropriate. I may not have complained - but I do agree with the feelings of those who do. Cutting from disaster to show triviality does appear a trifle insensitive!

And yet, sadly, I know my teenage daughters who love fashion and are intrigued by celebrities life styles, would have watched the Paris Hilton news item with interest.

Now wouldn't it be good, if Paris Hilton keeps the vows she made when she was released yesterday from prison and use her celebrity to do some good for others.

That would be such an great example to her followers. Lets just hope that makes the news too ......although it may not be so newsworthy. but given her reputation and fame, it would influence many other young girls for the better I am sure.

So come on Paris start using your privilege and fame to set a good example to young women and how someone like you, if you put your mind to it can make a real difference.

Http://www.helpforbusymums.com
The website to save Busy Mums time.

LK Today - Working Mums - Bigotry

2007-06-26T11:08:00.000Z

I listened to interest to LK today this morning as I sat tapping into my computer. There was a lady whose name I do not remember, (and would prefer not to remember anyway), who was vociferous in her views. She actively avoided employing women who may end up having babies.
As in theory this applies to any woman who has not completed the menopause it does seem rather dangerous to attack such a large proportion of the working population.

There is a huge number of employable people who are reliable but require flexibility and in return the employer will be rewarded by loyal staff who will be with them for many years.

Successful companies, whether they are small or large, know they need to look outside the box and offer time share, flexible working, maybe not for everyone but for some personnel. Surely whoever you employ, whether they are old, young, male or female you want them to be reliable and a pleasure to work with. And if they stay a few years so much the better.

Lets face it, it is not just women with young children who may need extra support - none of us know what crisis is lurking round the corner.

I am not about to have any more children and my kids are in their teens, but I don't think I would like to work for an organisation who was not family friendly. - It tells me these organisations don't value their staff.

I bet if you would also find the staff turnover would be higher than those with a more proactive attitude to the challenges their staff present to them, whether that happened to include little bundles of joy or more serious problems.

Http://www.helpforbusymums.com/Coaching-to-help- busy-Parents.html offers business coaching for working parents.

Why are you Grumpy?

2007-06-19T14:01:00.000Z

Now and then things really get my goat. And today that has happened. Nobody has said anything to upset me. Nothing bad has happened. I haven't had a row with anyone. I am not premenstrual (or at least I don't think so). So what is it.

I can not find my day book. My day book consists of my to do list, project lists, odd notes and numbers and I can not find it anywhere. Result - I am shouting at the dog. Cross, frustrated and hot and bothered.

This book though useful is not vital. It has not physically stopped me going anywhere or doing anything. And yet my frustration at not being able to find it has left me feeling grumpy and irritable.

Its worth giving some thought to how small things can lead to us being grumpy which then seeps into our other relationships and may indeed end up causing a big row about something completely unrelated.

Being on the receiving end of someones inward frustration can have a big impact on how we perceive other people. In fact the less we know that person the more we make a judgement about that person "not liking us" or being "bad tempered" and we don't like them.

Much better to try and communicate and explain our minor frustration. That may put it into perspective and find a positive solution.

So on that note I am going to take a little of my own advice. I am now going to take a few minutes time out, to get rid of my grumpy mood and make sure I don't take out my own petty frustrations on my poor family when they get home!

For more help to overcome the frustrations of your own busy life visit http://www.helpforbusymums.com

Are Exams really getting easier?

2007-06-18T11:14:00.000Z

Whew the girls exams are over. The bits of paper scattered all around the house can be peeled off the walls, doors and ceiling. ( Daughter number four, has an important history diagram situated conveniently above her bed.) I am just hoping that it does not peel off the paint as well!

Exams, for most kids are very stressful and yet as someone who went through this "in the olden days" , I don't remember the pressure being as bad as it has become now. Nor the constant comment that the exams are getting easier. Which I guess will be the next predictable news item on education in August, when the exam results are out.

It seems like every year this criticism is levelled. It certainly was when my two eldest children took their GCSE's and A levels some years ago. The charge is always the same. The exams are getting easier and standards are declining.

As a parent, and someone who is lucky enough to know a few teachers I really do not believe this to be the case. (Certainly the exam papers I have seen baffle me - and I would like to think I received quite a good education as I attended a local grammar school.) Certainly the teachers work a lot harder and are monitored a lot more closely. I also have a strong recollection when I took my exams that there was less parity between the exam Boards.

Maybe the teachers coach the children specifically to pass the exams. But who can blame them for doing that, with schools performance being so closely monitored. Anyway, in my opinion, any good teacher or private tutor will always have done that.

What I do know is that they are now taught how to revise. Something I never remember being "coached" in. Hence all the signs round the house.

My theory is that there is so much more for us to have to get to grips with these days. Not only do we have all the old traditional subjects but some new subjects including IT, graphic design and technology. Schools are expected to fit a lot more into the day - and that must be tough to do when the school days is the same length (maybe even a little shorter) than it used to be.

More importantly there are also many more distractions inside even in the best run homes, which makes less likely for kids to settle down and read a good book. They are more likely to be talking on MSN, watching a DVD, playing a computer game or listening to their Ipod.

None of this entertainment was available thirty years ago. And if you are a Mum like me who is constantly trying to encourage hobbies, this can shoot you in the foot too. Daughter number four, who is a keen army cadet, struggles to fit in her homework.

What is the answer - I really don't know, but generally in life positive affirmation produces better results than constant criticism. And I am sure that must go for teachers as well as kids.

Make time for Fun

2007-06-05T18:48:00.000Z

I find it fascinating that twenty years ago people believed they would have more leisure time in the future and computers would be doing all the work.

How wrong could they have been.

Now despite all the gadgets we own, we seem to be working harder, longer and faster.

Just think about email. Twenty years ago someone sent you a letter. It was typed, maybe retyped (because of typos), posted and delivered possibly the next day.

If you were at work you would collect the post, open it and respond. If it was urgent, you would try to make sure your reply was in the post that evening.

With luck and a fair wind it might arrive the next day.

Minimum turnaround would have been three days, now the same action can be completed in minutes.

We can't change peoples expectations, alter technology or people demanding our time. But what is really important is that we prioritise effectively and make sure we don't just plan the things we "have to do" but the things "we want to do". and that includes having some fun.

This is not fun that you feel you have to schedule in for the family - this is something which is fun for you.

It does not matter what it is. It could be a trip to the park, a game with the kids or a long, hot lazy bath.

Having fun does not have to cost anything. It doesn't mean you need to go somewhere or buy something. It just needs to make you feel good.

Now if you have read this and you know you have a really busy week coming up -don't bin it (figuratively speaking). Fun is something we all need to schedule in as a daily activity. Even if it lasts for just a few minutes.

You will feel better, be happier and be a lot more productive for taking those few minutes out. So make sure you JUST DO IT.

Procrastination and how it costs you time

2007-06-04T19:09:00.000Z

Help for Busy Mums -Time saving tip for

We all do it. Some of us more than others. We know it will create all sorts of problems. People becoming irritated with us. We become irritated with ourselves.

It also creates stress, which leads to us being bad tempered and irritable. And then we end up wasting our own precious time and energy. So why do we do it and what is this thing?

Its called procrastination.

Putting off doing things, often takes up more energy as getting on and just doing it. Quite often the task - whatever it is - takes on a form, which is more time costly than in reality it really is.

A few days ago I wrote a blog about one of my least favourite jobs.... cleaning out my daughters rabbits. (Quite why am clearing them out when they are not strictly my rabbits - I will keep for another day).

The story is always the same. I will sit and think about doing this particular chore, literally for hours on and off. I will make excuses - normally along the lines that I don't have enough time. I will find other things "more pressing" to do and then the rabbit chore will slip my mind. Poor little things. This is then followed by the guilt trip, and irritability with my own failures....get the picure?.....You would think I was cleaning out my grandparents life time possessions, not a rabbit hutch, the amount of "thought energy " which goes into this job.

So in my effort to become "more organised", I decided to time how long this job actually takes. I was quite surprised. Start to finish it took me twelve minutes. Twelve minutes and yet it took me two days to get round to it!

Procrastination is one of the biggest time stealers there is...but it doesn't just steal time, it steals creativity, energy and if you are a really good procrastinator a good part of your life.

So finding ways to help get a grip of this particular habit can be no bad thing. Here are some ideas which may help you to do just that.

Daily Planning with the "To Do Lists "- ideally done at the end of a day. Not just "work" tasks but it is also important to write down "home" and "leisure" tasks to do as well. These can act as incentives.
Try doing your most hated, dreaded tasks first and just get them out of the way.
Prioritise the tasks on your list. (And remember it is not just chores that need to prioritised. Fun activities need to be prioritised too).
Set a timer, to limit and monitor the time you spend on specific tasks. This helps keeps tasks in perspective.. (e. g. my example with the rabbits). As I found, it can be very enlightening.
Longer term tasks - such as a tax form or a report which has a deadline. Set yourself a personal deadline before the official one for completion. This allows for last minute hitches and takes the stress away from meeting the official deadlines.
Schedule less in a day and aim to complete everything. Do this if you find yourself constantly running late. Repeatedly being "very late" shows a lack of respect for other peoples time as well as making you be in a constant rush. People who are constantly rushing are more likely to have accidents, forget things as well as creating unncessary stress.
Finally, and this is my favourite don't use your "procrastination" to hide behind the "too busy" mentality. If you really are too busy you need to reschedule and re-prioritise your to do list.

Want to make some changes in the way you do things and need support?

Keeping Kids Busy on a wet half term

2007-05-30T18:11:00.000Z

This is a very quiet half term for me. But as I was reminded by a neighbour on the way back to my house this morning - pretty awful if you have a house full of kids and it is pouring with rain!!

Well my house is quiet - more about that tomorrow - but I know when nothing verymuch is planned kids can be a real pain when the weather is miserable and they are feeling bored.

Click on the link below for a few ideas or register with us to receive the free ebook Keeping Kids Busy - which has the things from the old toilet roll game. (The kids bandage themselves up with toilet paper - and then dependent on which version and how many children are involved they race to unwrap it) - to the more obvious like board games, battleships and hunt the thimble.

If you really want to put a bit more planning in then why not organise a treasure hunt. It could be round the house - but if you don't mind the kids getting wet and they don't why not in the garden. If you want a few tips on how to set one up visit and other ideas then visit
http://www.helpforbusymums.com/occupying-the-kids-at-half-term.html

Routines and How they can Help

2007-05-25T11:07:00.000Z

Routines and How they can Save you Time.

Early summer is a great time to re evaluate how we all do things. We start off with New Year resolutions but for most of us by the time we get to the end of January we have given up, or half forgotten what we were going to do differently this year.

Part of the problem is we are still suffering the excesses of Christmas during January.

So I have yet again decided to visit routines. You could say that this is a bit of a routine in itself. This was brought about by a good friend of mine who made this simple statement.

Routines are good. When I thought about this simple statement I realised how true it was. Especially as a lot of my routines are nonexistent!!

They save time. Things happen automatically when there are routines. As well as saving time orchestrating kids to get kids to do things it also saves the endless nagging.

Routines can be something as simple as cleaning your teeth before going to bed or something more challenging like getting to the gym.

They could be bedtime habits or eating habits.

They could be housework routines or keep fit routines They could be kids chores or time for you routines.

Routines are really just habits, but mainly habits with a positive ring to them.

So if habits are often bad routines, then perhaps to change or remove the bad habit we need to change or replace the bad routines.

Think about it. If like many mums you are trying to make a real effort to get the family to eat more healthily or watch less television, before you try to change the behaviour you need to change the routines which sits behind the behaviour. Then a good habit or routine will follow more easily.

Spending time examining the behaviour behind a habit, or an ineffective routine, is likely to result in much more long term success. For example: if you want the family to eat more healthily, then you need to make sure that there is a good range of healthy food in the house. This means in turn you need to do a healthy shop and work out some healthy recipes.

So what routines would you like to put in place?

And what input is needed by you to get your new routine in place?

Stress and Exam Nerves

2007-05-17T10:35:00.000Z

My girls are just beginning to sit their exams.

Daughter two is sitting her AS level exams and daughter three her GCSEs.

Throughout the house are post it notes, charts and revision cards stuck on doors light switches and by mirrors. Anywhere they are likely to be loitering and can stop and take a look for a few minutes.

Sitting on the loo is now quite educational for me too. I can see at a glance through a very self explanatory chart how Germany's power developed during the 1920's and 1930's and am even beginning to remember dates of the Treaties that were signed.

I never remember doing anything like this. Far more trouble is now taken in helping kids to revise "better" - certainly anyway at the school my girls attend.

I guess the most important thing is to try and reduce the anxiety around exams. Even if the kids do fail them it is not the end of the world. All that I ask is that they do their best - and lets face it there are lots of people who have been successful in life who have not done very well at school.

That's not to say I would not be disappointed - but it is also important to recognise that as much as I would like all my children to grow up and be successful rocket scientists or brain surgeons - that's about me not them.

So back to exam stress - what can we do?

Make sure they eat well and get a good nights sleep.

That perhaps we are a bit more tolerant of the odd outburst.

We make sure that they take regular breaks from revision and ideally do a bit of exercise in between. The brain works far better when it is well oxygenated!

My kids love horlicks and hot chocolate made with real chocolate. Comforting drinks or treats serve two purposes. One they will pep them up a bit, and two will show them you care. Sometimes this can work a lot better than talking to stressed adolescents.

For my ideas on dealing with stress -either for your kids, you or someone else in your life visit: http://www.helpforbusymums.com/stress-and-exam-nerves.html

So the Children Want a Rabbit Part 2

2007-05-08T14:18:00.000Z

This blog continues the adventures of Woody and Jessie rabbit.

Initially my girls spent their pocket money on buying the rabbits, rabbit toys from the local pet shop. They were regularly bathed and brought in the house and played with, much to my consternation.

They also invested in rabbit leads. However these were not very successful as the rabbits managed to chew through them.

In fact the rabbits managed to chew through quite a lot of things including the flowers and the back of an old sofa which we kept in our family room. Even so I found myself becoming quite fond of these little rogues.

Woody had quite a temper on him and would enjoy picking up his china bowl with his mouth and throwing it around. Whether it was this particular occupation - or his diet - I don't know, but I seemed forever to be taking him to the vets to have his nails and teeth clipped. Apparently it is not uncommon for rabbits teeth to become dangerously long. (Fortunately Jessie was not suffering with this particular affliction - just the continuing gammy eye).

One time I had noticed not only were Woody's teeth very long but he seemed to be getting rather thin.

To summarise the prognosis, Woody had an abscess on his gum and our local vet told me that any operation to remove this (as it was in the rabbits jaw) would be unsuccessful and lead to a lot of suffering for the rabbit. I was told that Woody should be put to sleep.

Now as I said - I am not a great fan of rabbits, but this little chap seemed in quite good spirits jumping round the garden, despite being a bit on the thin side. So Woody had his teeth cut short yet again and I went away to have a think about what was the best thing to do.

Well thank goodness for the Internet. I did hours of research and finally found a famous rabbit vet, just twelve miles from where we lived. This vet had written books on veterinary rabbit stuff, and even had a rabbit operating table at her practice.

Woody was seen and given a quite different prognosis. She told me that she would not be able to remove all of the abscess, but she could lance it. Rabbits she told me live very successfully in the wild with abscesses in their mouths. She also suggested we had Woody's front teeth removed.

That was three years ago. My old vet was sceptical about the whole thing and just refers to him as the miracle rabbit. Woody does need his food or special treats like carrots to be cut up or even pureed -but apart from that seems quite happy. He often comes up and gives us a lick or sometimes you can see him sucking on the odd plant, but apart from that being toothless has not affected him one bit.

As for the girls -well they have long since lost interest in Jessie and Woody and regard them as a bit of a chore. So now most of the time there is 50/50 split of me and the girls looking after them. Yes I know I should be stricter and have made them take responsibility for them but sometimes you just have to stick to fighting the big battles and lose a few of the small furry ones.

So if rabbits are not really your thing - I would steer well clear of getting one. They are cute, cuddly and adorable but also in our case have been very expensive, time consuming and they live quite a long time! And sadly if you are like me you will grow very attached to them even if rabbits are not quite your thing.

For more articles practical advice go to http://www.helpforbusymums.com

So the Children want a Rabbit?

2007-05-04T11:37:00.000Z

As I sit down to write this I know I am putting off the dreaded deed. It is probably my least favourite job. But sadly it has got to be done. If I don't do it no one else will.

What is it? You may ask. It is clearing out the rabbits.

Almost seven years ago my daughter suddenly starting asking for a rabbit for her birthday. I was not keen. I don't "do" animals that are kept in cages. I am more of a dog person myself.

Anyway my protestations were far too feeble looking back. and guess what, a baby dutch rabbit appeared on my daughters birthday, bought as a present by a friend. Dutch rabbits are the small black and white variety, and I must say Woody as he is known was very sweet.

We went out and bought the hutch and took him to the vets for his vaccinations and to be "done".
All of which set us back the best part of £200.

Initially he was cuddled and played with loads, predictably. He was so cute that he ended up spending far too much time in the house. ... stupidly. He even had a litter tray in the kitchen and became house trained. Sounds too good to be true ...well it was really.

Well it was until we went away for a long weekend. Friends were staying with us so they said they would look after Woody. I stupidly decided that as Woody was so well behaved he could stay in the kitchen and then have a run of the garden while we were away.

It was with surprise that when we returned three days later the kitchen looked a little different.
Our house sitters explained the problem. Every time they went out Woody went on the rampage. He managed to jump on the kitchen table and throw off whatever he could, which included crockery and glass tumblers. He had also somehow managed to get on the window sill above the kitchen sink, and eat all the leaves on my plants. Worse than that he had found a way to pull out the paneling underneath the kitchen units. He obviously considered this a great burrow.

And to really rub in his glee at the chaos he was causing, he then even went on to trick our friends into thinking he was hiding in his new found burrow, which they were crawling round, while in fact he was watching them smugly from another corner of the room. My house sitters said it was like the film "Mouse Trap". It was the two of them against the rabbit. And the rabbit was winning!

Woody much to his disgust was dispatched to live in his hutch. (And I felt very guilty because of course I don't like animals being kept in cages.) But there seemed to be no other choice. Woody was quite capable of wrecking the house.

As the months wore on daughter number three decided she wanted a rabbit for her birthday. I was even less keen, but of course a precedent had been set. So when it came to her birthday a few months later, I found myself driving round the local pet shops looking at baby bunnies.

We ended up with an identical dutch bunny who seemed to be living a forlorn life in an old fashioned pet shop, in an outlying village, some way from where we lived. Worse than that the rabbit had a gammy eye. But daughter number three saw herself as this bunny' saviour, and as she had saved up her birthday money and was buying the bunny and another hutch, what could I say? Well actually, what I should have said was NO, but I didn't.

Approximately another £200 later, hutch, vaccinations and treatment for the gammy eye, which never has really cleared up, we had two rabbits, in two hutches, as we were told unless they had been "brought" up together they would not mix.

Well that wasn't true. Their hutches were placed opposite each other, and eventually we put them together and the two rabbits became the best of friends. Although Jessie, (yes they are both named after the Toy Story characters) , was always the more bossy and least tame of the two.

I would like to say that it is the end of the story and the expense. But the adventures of Woody and Jessie rabbit go on. But I now really do have to go and clear out their rabbit hutch, so I will continue this blog tomorrow.

How to find solutions to problems

2007-05-03T12:21:00.000Z

I have just sent out my monthly Busy Mums Bulletin. It is always an opportunity to have a think and try and put something which I think people like me may find useful and informative.

I thought it might be useful to put this excerpt into my the Busy Mums Blogg - for my entry today. You never know someone somewhere with a problem may find it a good way of tackling something which to date they have drawn a blank with.

I was once away at sales conference and speaking to a very successful man. And when I say successful - he seemed very financially successful to me, but more importantly, successful in the personal sense. He was self assured with clear personal values and integrity. Someone who I had a real sense of admiration for on many levels.

This prompted me to ask him what was his secret of success. He said to me "Recognise that every problem has not one solution but many - it will open up your life"

I have always remembered that and I really do now try hard to adopt that philosphy, when I come up against some problem or challenge.

I write down the problem and then all of the solutions I can think of. It does not matter how stupid or outrageous the solutions are - I write them down anyway.

I am not quite sure what happens - but this somehow seems to open up another creative window in my mind and from that appears even more solutions I had not thought of before. The end result, is a path I had not considered, or a "combination solution" which I would not have thought of, if I had not taken these steps. I owe that man a big thank you for his advice.

So next time you have a problem or challenge. It does not matter what area of your life it is - it could be work, relationships, money, or your family....

Try it - it works.

Work Life Balance for Busy Mums and Meal times

2007-05-02T13:46:00.000Z

When you are a Mum it is really easy to be at every ones beck and call without even realising it.

I remember when daughter number two was very small how she hoodwinked me into making her wait on her hand and foot.

I actually did not realise until it was pointed out to me by a friend of the family. He had a daughter just a few weeks older, who kept asking for things. You know the sort of thing, a drink, a biscuit a toy .... and so on. His little girl kept saying "I want...", and was quite demanding - and was quite understandably being reproached by her father for her continuing requests.

Until that moment I had felt quite smug. (Perhaps it showed on my face). That was until he pointed out to me that my daughter was a little more crafty with her demands. She said " I need".

And guess what.... I jumped to my feet without hesitation. He was right. She was crafty. She was calling the shots at just three years old and I had not twigged.

One of my daughters specialities was saying "I need...." just after I sat down, normally when I was going to eat a meal.

This meant I jumped up, often several times during every meal time, (as my other children joined in with requests). It was a source of irritation to me that I did not ever seem to sit down and eat a meal without it being interrupted.

The thing I realised when this "I need terminology" was pointed out - was that actually they were saying "I want..." and actually it wouldn't do them any harm....in fact it might be quite a good rule in patience and manners if they did wait.

Such a small thing I know....but it made quite a big difference to how much I enjoyed meal times.

As you can probably guess I invoked a new rule. Once I had sat down for a meal, I wasn't going to get up again until I had finished eating!

Well you may say what has that got to do with work life balance? - Well maybe its just all those small things you do which impact the quality of our leisure time. Its worth us all thinking how much we are at the mercy of the "I need...." trick.

More food for thought on work life balance for busy mums tomorrow.

Help for Busy Mums with "their work-life balance"

2007-05-01T16:46:00.000Z

Do you find yourself juggling all the people and projects in your life?

Do you think you need help with your "work life balance"?

As a busy working Mum of four children (and more recently three step children), I do my best to juggle all the people and projects in my life but sometimes not quite as successfully as I would like.

I set up the Help for Busy Mums website because I wanted to create a resource that parents can go to, keep up to date with what is going on in the world of parenting. Alongside that, I offer coaching and personal development to corporate clients and individuals.

Coaching is not counselling or therapy of any kind. It is the opportunity for you to work or get support on things which are important to you in your life in a objective and confidential environment, where no one is going to judge or make decisions on your behalf.

Sometimes you are so busy rushing about you aren't able to stand back and objectively work out how you can make changes which will lead to you feeling happier less worried and having time for the things most important to you.

As the Home Page of my site states "Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least". But sadly for many of us they are.

In corporate terms this roughly translates to productivity and a happy work force

So if you you find yourself worrying that you do not seem to have enough time in the day?.

Your priorities are constantly going out the window?

Or maybe you are losing site of what is really important to you. Then you might want to consider contacting us at http://www.helpforbusymums.com

Alcohol and Kids

2007-04-27T09:31:00.000Z

Something definitely needs to be done about binge drinking. But I do not think prosecuting parents for introducing alcohol to children under fifteen years old is quite the best way to go about educating our young people about the hazards of drink.

You just have to look at Europe. France, Spain and Italy do not have anywhere near the same regulations surrounding alcohol, yet they do not have the same problems.

In southern Europe in particular the culture encourages families to socialise together. Older generations with the younger ones.

In the UK we tend to segregate our social lives to adult only venues and even age related venues. I think this is where the kudos behind youngsters getting drunk comes from. It makes them feel grown up... and growing up too quick gets a lot of us into trouble.

We also separate our social venues into places where you specifically go to to drink alcohol and where you go to eat.

If you are young it is likely that if you want to go to a bar - you will drink and guess what you will get drunk because there is nothing else to do at that bar.

Then of course they all roll out of the bar -dehydrated and hungry into the local Chinese takeaway where there is a punch up!

I think education at school on the pitfalls of alcohol is the way forward and of course heavily reinforced at home.

But will the schools have time along with all the other social education they have to do?

Well there lies another can of worms. In my opinion we spend too much time teaching our children about things which will not help them in later life.

visit me at http:www.helpforbusymums.com

Alan Ball - What a nice guy

2007-04-25T18:24:00.000Z

I have been very moved today listening to the many many tributes to Alan Ball who died suddenly last night.

When football is in the news it is often because there is violence off the field, derision of a team, a manager or criticism of a player or sometimes even their wife.

Today we have seen a much kinder side. We have heard about someone who was enthusiastic, positive a great sportsman but even more importantly than that someone who had humility and true family values.

Listening to the people who have paid tribute to him really makes me think how much I would have liked to know him. And how much I would like my sons to know him as well.

Cooking for Busy Mums

2007-04-24T14:01:00.000Z

I don't know about you but cooking dinner every night can be quite a challenge. Not only do you have to cater for all tastes but also try and make sure that you try and avoid the convenience food trap.

When my kids were little and I had the day at home I used to try and prepare dinner earlier in the day. Sometimes I found myself peeling potatoes after breakfast. It actually worked quite well.

I always found tea times far too busy and stressful to start cooking from scratch when me and the kids are all running out of steam.

It does not seem to have improved much though. The problem now is after school activities and being out all day. Unfortunately we are still running out of steam and need something on the table asap. Its just I am too tired to start cooking from scratch. Its no wonder convenience foods are so popular.

Thats why I have decided to compile a list of quick cook suppers that busy mums like me can use to dish up quick dinners. I have made a start on "No cook suppers" which can be found on http://www.helpforbusymums.com/cookforbusymums.com and I will be adding to it over the coming weeks.

Have a read you never know it may save you a trip to the supermarket or the local takeaway!

My daughters Prom

2007-04-23T14:03:00.000Z

Saturday was my youngest daughters Prom. To be honest I had never heard or quite understood what a Prom was until I moved to Ringwood. Although an American tradition I am reliably informed by daughter number two that Ringwood have been holding Proms for many many years.

The first Ringwood Prom I experienced shortly after I moved down here. I was trying to leave our local Health Club one Friday evening after taking my girls swimming. There was a mass of people outside, together with a stream of limousines and young women dressed like film stars, with a lot of young men in Black Tie.

Whilst negotiating my way through the crowd I managed to ask one lady what was going on. She replied excitedly "its the Prom, my granddaughter is in it - you must stay and watch."
I did. There were Ferrari's, tanks, boys on Penny farthings, Fire Engines to name just a few of the vehicles which were transporting the students. With every car that arrived there was whooping and shouting and lots of cameras flashing. The kids were treated like royalty.

Even so I did not quite realise the planning and angst which goes into making sure you have an appropriate form of transport and the right gear to wear. It takes months sometimes years of planning and saving!

This week it occurred to me I have now turned into that lady I spoke briefly to outside the health club. I was really excited about my daughters Prom.

Days before I found myself talking to random people about the Prom, including the Tesco delivery man. - I was telling him how I hoped the weather would be good as it was my daughters Prom. He looked a bit bemused, (he obviously did not know what a Prom was). After he left my daughter number two told me I was behaving like it was a wedding.

Well it is a bit like that really. No expense is spared on hair being put up, manicures, a dress, evening shoes and bag. The girls are treated like Princess's for a day and the boys in their DJ's do really look like they are acting out their favourite James Bond fantasy, unphased by the fact that many of them (who have not yet had their growing spurt) are around a foot shorter than their female escorts.

I know it is decadent and yes it is completely over the top but there is also something very special about a Prom.

Well was it all worth it. Yes. At 11:30pm daughter number three burst through the door shouting "it was the best day of my life ever!!" I know she will always have fond memories of her Prom. ... I am really glad she enjoyed it so much.

Just wish we had Proms when I was her age! I love dressing up! Maybe they could start holding them for the parents as well?

Visit me at

http://www.helpforbusymums.com

Spring Cleaning - Get rid of the clutter

2007-04-16T11:00:00.000Z

Clutter in the head, in the home, in the office creates stress.

The help for busy mums plan for clearing clutter.

Clutter does not have to be old newspapers which are scattered throughout the house although it certainly can be.

The kind of clutter I am talking about are things which clutter up your mind, your space and your time. It is all those outstanding things which you have been meaning to do and just have not quite found the time to get round to.

It could be sorting out bills, updating the virus software on the computer, or the favourite suit which you would like to wear but needs mending, or the ever growing ironing basket.

All these little things are the proverbial straws on the camels back some of them may even seem like bricks! And as the old proverb goes the straw that breaks the camels back and there is the connection between clutter and stress.

Now there are some types of clutter you can not completely get rid of, the kids toys for example. There is also some kinds of stress you can not avoid. Minimising and taking action with the things we can do something about will make a dramatic impact on our day to day stress levels which in turn effects how much energy we have and how we feel about ourselves.

So what can we do? Try these three steps.

Make a list of all the outstanding items which are irritating you. Then one by one go through this list and sort the offending items or projects into three separate lists which should be entitled Action It, Bin it or Delegate it.

Action it:

Set yourself a realistic time frame when you can complete this outstanding task

Bin It:

Do you really need the huge pile of magazines which has been collecting dust? If you really can not bring yourself to throw away the offending items put them in a box tape it up and date it for three or six months ahead. If you have not needed to look into the box within your chosen time frame clearly you do not need this stuff so bin it, recycle it or donate it to a charity shop.

Delegate It:

My personal favourite! Pay someone to do the offending job. If you can not afford to pay someone, is there a skill you can trade with a friend or a member of the family. So you can help each other out.

For more help go to http://www.helpforbusymums.com

Outdoor Activities

2007-04-11T15:05:00.000Z

The sun is shining and it really seems like spring in the UK.

Although we only have a small garden there is already lots of activity going on in it.

A little wren is busy making its nest and singing to attract a mate. Its amazing how much noise one tiny bird can make!

He is keeping us entertained with his industrious antics, collecting bits of grass to make his new house a little more comfortable in readiness for his new mate.

Then there is the bat that appears in the evening, he whizzes through the garden and disappears into another bird nesting box that he appears to have adopted.

Last year we watched in amazement as a little tiny vole appeared in cartoon like style to make morning and evening visits to our two rabbits in their hutch. He would sneak in through the mesh, help himself to the rabbits food and disappear off -the rabbits did not seem to be at all phased by their visitor.

We think he is about again -or maybe its a hedgehog. Certainly something is. Paddy our dog is very much on the case. At the moment she and the kids are trying to find out what. It is keeping them entertained for hours.

Far better and healthier than the TV.

If you want more to find out some more ideas of how to keep the kids entertained, then visit
me at http://www.helpforbusymums.com and sign up for our Busy Mums Bulletin to receive your free gifts which include a free E book "Keeping Kids Busy".

The Budget

2007-03-27T13:31:00.000Z

Sorry I am having a moan today. For a more positive take on life visit http://www.helpforbusymums.com

What do you make of Gordon Browns budget?

I can not find anyone who really feels it is going to help them or is financially fair.

In fact it was a budget that did not do anything ....yet..
Most things seemed to be deferred o next year when GB will no longer be chancellor.

To smugly cut income tax by 2p from next year - and abolish the lowest 10p rate, even for a bozo like me means the net effect is not going to help people who are on the lowest incomes.
The very people that Gordon Brown says he wants to help.

No no, the argument will be. There are the tax credits. Tax credits, are one of the biggest cons around.

I would love to know how much they cost to implement. The tax credits I refer to are the ones which you have to apply for in a document which is around 30 pages long (great for the environment).

You just wonder how many people are not claiming for these because they find the forms too difficult or time consuming. Especially the old and infirm.

I have a friend, single parent who diligently filled out this 30 page document to claim the child tax credits she believed she qualified for in 2002. (This was as they started).She was paid them for a year and then had to pay the whole lot back because the figures had been calculated wrong.
Causing her all sorts of financial problems which she had not budgeted for.

Her fault apparently, but as she is on PAYE and she filled the form in over the phone.... you wonder how that could be.

Now she wants nothing more to do with the system. She is frightened if she claims them and then gets a pay rise she will end up in the same position again.

And like many other people can not understand why we can not return to a simpler system when any additional allowances you are eligible for, are incorporated in your tax code.

This would reward people who work, would save thousands of pounds in the office staff which have to manage this system (which is impossible to get through to on the phone).
Not to mention the number of trees which have to be cut down to create the paperwork which goes on behind it.

It would also mean that the money is deducted at source rather than being taken off and given back.... (and then in my friends case taken back again).

Are well..... the money will not reach the intended recipients. I don't get that.....if you have children then you get family allowance, surely that could reflect additional special circumstances.

Pensioners..... perhaps they should have a different tax code ....

Lets face it there must be a thousand different ways that we create a fairer most cost effective and less bureaucratic benefits system.

When your children start to drive

2007-03-06T12:48:00.001Z

Todays blog from the Busy Mums Blog is about my daughter passing her driving test. For more stuff for Busy Mums visit my website: http://www.helpforbusymums.com

Today my daughter passed her driving test. What a relief. The last few weeks my daughter has gone from being nought to ninety in emotional maintenance.

Generally C is really easy going and laid back so it always comes as a bit of shock when she moves into top gear.

The pattern for her nerves were set after she failed her theory test a couple of times. For those of you in the know, there is now a hazard perception test and the highway code. She managed to pass each one individually - and at £21.50 a time it made the whole event frustrating and expensive, particularly as she had managed to pass each examination, but not at the same time.

The thing which is scary about C's behaviour is I can see so much of myself in her. Because sadly when something really gets to me, I know I become incredibly high maintenance and needy too.

So having some empathy of what C is going through, I have been trying to offer as much unconditional support as possible. As a result I have made sure I was available to drive her down to the theory test centre, walk her to the building, see her in the door - all whilst giving her positive visualisation techniques to practice!

It reminded me of her first day at school, but I seem to remember that she didn't even give me a backward glance then.

On each occasion, once I had "dropped her off", (for the test that is), I then wandered along to my favourite coffee shop and passed the time sipping a latte.

I still wonder what the staff must have though when twice within a month my daughter arrived at the door of the coffee shop in floods of tears.

Sympathetic drinks were delivered to our table in hushed and appropriately sombre tones and I could see the staff whispering, trying to work out what on earth was going on. I should have put them out of their misery really and explain it was nothing life threatening . C had just failed her theory test.

Finally and thankfully for both my family and the coffee shop staff, C eventually managed to pass both tests at the same time.

But now we had to move on the the practical test. (I hate to say it but I was filled with dread - I failed my test multiple times mainly because my nerves got the better of me).

The date was booked and I was informed that under no circumstances was I to pass this highly confidential information on to anybody else in the family. In the background of course there is latent competition going on amongst her friends who were also learning to drive, all adding to this unhealthy pressure.

As the date drew nearer I was also dispatched to the shops to get in a supply of calms and rescue remedy.

The day came, our contrived story why C was not going into school first thing seemed to pass unquestioned. And then at 9am C disappeared for a driving lesson which would be followed by her test.

I calculated that the 40 minute test would be over by 11:30 am which meant if I had not heard anything shortly after that then the likelihood was she had failed.

When no phone call materialised I found myself looking out of the window in readiness for her arrival home. Maybe she was waiting to tell me the good news (I remember feebly hoping).

When I saw C get out of the car - there was no doubt in my mind that she had failed ...... she fell through the door sobbing.....

I must admit I felt sorry for the driving instructor, who later told me she was relieved that someone was at home when they arrived back. (I had never realised what an emotionally stressful job teaching people to drive must be - not to mention the additional counselling skills which are required!)

Anyway after a weekend of C feeling cross and upset C was just about back on course for test number two.

Three weeks later there was a repeat of the whole drama. I was instructed to buy further supplies of calms and rescue remedy. Although I knew she was taking her test I was not allowed to communicate I knew, or even say good luck as she disappeared off in the morning.

Once again I calculated the time she would call me - if she passed. Of course I could not concentrate on anything all morning. It was with great relief to hear that the good news that she had passed.

C's driving instructor was also highly relieved too and C , as you would expect was like the cat who had got a crateful of cream .

So all's well that ends well. Mmmm Not quite... I am of course pleased - but if I am really honest also a bit worried, because of course now she is a young and inexperienced driver ....

So now there seems to have been a transference of stress and worry.
Instead of my daughter worrying about passing her test I am now worrying because she has passed her test!!

Life was so much simpler when she was little and was only allowed to play in the garden!

For more stuff for Busy Mums visit my website: http://www.helpforbusymums.com

Now its a School Lottery?

2007-02-28T21:01:00.000Z

Today the Busy-Mums Blog talks about the School Lottery.Visit http://www.helpforbusymums.com the website resource to help busy mums.

I feel really sorry for those parents in Brighton and Hove, who have suddenly found that the goal posts have changed. From next year (2008), the eligibility of the school they would prefer to send their children to is not the same as it was last week.

The sad thing is that although a computer may now be randomly selecting where a child attends school, there always has been clamor for children to get into the best schools. So its just the same war on a different battlefield.

Wouldn't it be nice if all the schools were "good". Then there would not be so much of a problem ....maybe. But what is the definition of a good school? for most of us it is the school which is top in the league tables. But is that really a true reflection of the success of a school or its pupils?

I am really lucky with the school that my girls attend in Ringwood, which is just on the Dorset Hampshire border. It has a good name. However parents who are just outside of Ringwood do struggle to get into the school.

Ringwood is a comprehensive. Dorset still has the old grammar school system, so it makes sense for those children who miss out on the grammar school to try and attend Ringwood. However it is a real shame they are not confident enough in their local schools.

Of course Ringwood Comprehensive does not have any where such good results as the Bournemouth Grammar Schools which has a strict selection process.

The selection process also happens on a less transparent basis in some parts of the country where the SATS become a "tool" in the process of selection, within some supposedly non selective schools. Guess what their results in the League Tables are also going to be good.

To me this is divisive. Any school which is taking children of lower academic ability, is not going to do so well in the league tables. Yet the child may have made significantly more progress than their opposite number in a selective school where the children have a higher academic ability.

Now I know of one school, which a friend of mine started teaching at a couple of years ago. She joined this school which is highly regarded, from having taught at quite a tough co ed school in a neighbouring town.

She was delighted to be moving to a single sex school which parents fought to get their children into. However her delight turned very quickly to horror. The lesson plans were non existent, the staff room moral was very low. Absence among teachers was high.

When my friend compared the two schools - the better school in terms of commitment to the children, positive ethos and quality of teaching was undoubtedly the tough co ed school. Of course its results were no where as good as the single sex school, which has been languishing on its laurels and past reputation.

As a school it may well be delivering beyond the expected standards set by the government - but that school maybe well be failing based on the progress of each child.

And lets face it , given the demographics of the school, it is likely the pupils which are attending are probably more academic and have more proactive parents in the first place.

All I can say is that I am really glad that my kids do not go there..

We should take far more interest how the children have developed throughout their school career. Lets face it, if you have a child who has always had a natural academic ability - of course you want that to be invested in. But equally if your child has been a slow starter - the teaching and school experience is almost more vital.

Kids being in a happy, enthusiastic environment is the one thing which will empower children to learn and enjoy school. To me that is far more important than basing how good a school is purely on the League Tables.

So lets start working hard to make all schools good and particular recognition for the schools where children are seem to improve the most because that is what makes difference between success and failure.

Visit me at http://www.helpforbusymums.com

The End of Half Term

2007-02-26T21:34:00.000Z

Half Term has just ended and mayhem seems to reign in my house.

I always thought that the older children got the more you can delegate and the less I would have to tackle.

I don't think I am the only Mum who feels like this. As I was browsing round Waitrose I over heard two women talking. One said to the other how untidy her son's bedroom was, but his idea of tidying it up was to take all the clothes lying on the floor and put them in the dirty linen basket.

Because their clothes are bigger they take up more room and there seems a lot more of them than there was when they were small. Also "they" decide when they are dirty. And given the choice between hanging something up and putting it out to be washed. They take the easier option. And you can guess what that is.

They eat more, normally more than the adults - make more mess and don't always clear up when you want them to; as they are too busy, conveniently doing homework, which of course you certainly do not want to discourage.

Then there is the blossoming social life which often means that every evening is interrupted by Mummy mini cab service, free prompt and available whenever required. Actually my kids always complain I am not very prompt - but I am reliable.

When they were little I chose their friends and when and where they went, and my evening generally were my own.

Then there is the discipline side of things. The naughty step does not work quite the same way. Although the general principle of rewarding good behaviour and intercepting unacceptable behaviour still needs to be addressed.

And of course when they were little I was the all knowing central figure in my children's lives. They have now realised I was a complete fraud, and they are smarter and capable than me. This leads to my own personal idiosyncrasies having huge comic value.

But despite all the challenges my kids are still funny, entertaining and constantly surprise me.
And the thing I find interesting is how much I learn from them.

So I guess the chaos is worth it. In a few years the chaos will be replaced by an empty house which does not get untidy. Not sure how much I will like that either.

MRSA and the NHS

2007-02-23T08:38:00.000Z

MRSA and the NHS

In the news today there is a lot about MRSA and how the infection rates are still climbing.

For me as a Mum, yet another thing to worry myself silly about.

I can not imagine how distressing it must be to go into hospital for one thing and then contract something so sinister and serious that it can kill you. And even worse something which appears to be caused by bad hygiene.

I find it interesting that we blame the spread of MRSA just on the fact that these infections have become resistant to antibiotics. Surely that means that this infection was already present and endemic in our hospitals - just that when people got an infection (whatever that transpired to be) - it was cured by antibiotics.

Before antibiotics and penicillin many people died from illnesses which would now be treated quite easily.

With all the medical advances which have been made, we should be able to keep our hospitals clean surely?

It is easy to blame lack of investment, or lack of medical staff, but if MRSA is caused by lack of hygiene and subsequent cross infection then really the fundamental cause of this is lack of cleanliness and a possible lack of accountability.

It seems to me that we have a sort of schizophrenic relationship with the NHS. On the one hand, there are people doing a sterling job. And then conversely you visit someone in hospital and you notice how the staff feel undervalued and it shows with their attitude and the "service" that the patient is receiving.

The people on the front line are often doing the best they can. But I think most of us have heard scary stories. What I think the NHS needs is good leadership. I guess years ago the leadership was in the care of medical staff. Now it seems to be in the care of civil servants and politicians who impose targets which seem now to take priority over patient care and the staff's ability to deliver.

When people don't feel listened to, or given recognition, pessimism can become contagious. No amount of money can resolve that - and I believe that is part of the complex equation which has contributed to MRSA continuing to spread.

If in Holland they can reduce the instance of MRSA to a couple of percent then there is no reason we can not either. No excuses - we just need to tackle it in a more business like way.
Perhaps what is needed is a Stuart Rose or Alan Sugar type figure, to take on the NHS.

Ultimately whether you like it or not the NHS is a business - and should not be a paralysed budget strapped institution.

Maybe all the Senior Management Teams should "work" undercover for a month at the "pit face", doing the cleaning, and caring, which fifty years ago were the bedrock of nursing.

Maybe they would then see what changes need to be made, to make the NHS a health institution which the staff would be proud to be ambassadors of.

Fire Safety Tips and candles

2007-02-22T09:26:00.000Z

Yesterday I wrote about the near shave our family had last weekend, when a candle which we thought had been put out, smouldered all night and then caught fire to the dried flower arrangement it was attached to.

I would consider myself as fairly safety conscious - and one of the things which I want to do with my website, http://www.helpforbusymums.com
was to provide a resource for busy mums to help them save time, and provide them with "sound bites of info" from the media, books and other mums. Today this is what I am going to attempt to do.

You are probably thinking by now I have gone off the point. What I am getting round to talking about is a item which appeared on the Jeremy Vine show, on Radio 2, I think before Christmas. It was about candles and nightlights.

There was someone representing the fire service talking and highlighting the dangers. I certainly learnt a few things.

He talked about nightlights and how if wrongly displayed, they are a serious fire hazard.

The problem he explained is that because the nightlight is contained in a thin metal casing, people assume that the casing is there for safety and to contain the flame, whereas in actual fact it is just to hold the candle wax.

It is not uncommon for nightlights to be placed directly on to surfaces, which are not fire resistant.

In a way you can understand the trap people fall into (and we did as well). Candles and night lights look very pretty.

He mentioned some occasions which he had witnessed as a fireman when peoples homes have been wrecked.

Candles and nightlights placed on televisions, mantelpieces, furniture and window sills all had resulted in serious fires.

There was also something which he mentioned ( and I may not have the terminology quite right ) a double burn. This is when the candle/nightlight has two flames, often when the candle has burned away so the wax and the wick are alight. This results in twice the heat, twice the danger - which I had never realised.

After some minutes of discussion the phone lines were opened up and there were several very scary calls from people who had got into trouble with candles and nightlights.

The one which sticks in my mind is a lady who telephoned in about her aunt who had put some candles or nightlights around her bath one evening. She thought she had blown them out. However, one may not have quite gone out and re-lit.

It then smouldered away through the night, until it eventually started burning her bath - which was made out of plastic. The fumes themselves were dangerous. By the time this ladies aunt had realised what was happening there was an explosion, caused I guess, by the substances on fire and probably other stuff like bleach, which we tend to keep in the bathroom. Amazingly the aunt survived.

A very scary story.

So without wishing to destroy those candlelit baths and romantic evenings in candlelight. Do be really careful.

Now I am going to make another call to the loss adjuster who is meant to be calling round to assess the damage to our lounge.

By the way if you have any stories, articles or info you think would be useful to busy mums then do drop by to my website http://www.helpforbusymums.com

Fire Safety Tips - a salutary tale.

2007-02-21T13:02:00.000Z

On Saturday night we went to bed having made the usual household checks. Switched off the lights, locked the doors and blown out the candles.

At about 6:00am the dog started barking. Nothing particularly unusual in that, so we thought. She has been playing up quite a lot lately - and it was probably a cry for attention. Her barking stopped. We went back to sleep.

At about 7:00am the an alarm clock went off. My husband and I sighed, we were really looking forward to a lie in and it just seemed to be one thing after another.

After about a minute we both became aware it wasn't the alarm clock at all. It was the fire alarm. And it was still going.

Our immediate thought was that one of the kids had been downstairs and managed to burn the toast. This has happened several times before.

The alarm persisted and it was only then I thought there might possibly be a problem.

I threw my dressing gown on and rushed out onto the landing. Immediately I could smell smoke. I ran downstairs wondering what to expect and shouting FIRE GET UP at the top of my voice.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs I could see the problem. A dried flower arrangement which was housing a candle was on fire on the window sill. The flames were about eighteen inches high. And burning foliage was turning to molten ash and drifting all over the room.

The thick black smoke - just from this one item in flames made it dificult to breathe and even to see.

Fortunately the flames had not reached the curtains or the sofa and I realised I had probably a minute or so before they did. So my thought was to try and contain the fire by throwing a wet tea towel over it. If that did not work dial 999.

I rushed to the kitchen grabbed a tea towel and dowsed it with water. I ran back to the lounge breathing a sign of relief that the curtains or sofa had not yet caught fire.

It was only then that my husband finely appeared. He had run down the stairs naked and then run back upstairs to make himself decent! The kids appeared just about the same time.

Finally after another wet tea towel was thrown on this mini molten inferno my husband managed to throw the offending article - which was still on fire out of the window.

Half an hour later we sat down and thought how lucky we were. Thank goodness we had a working fire alarm. It also made us think about our reaction to the situation.

Of course the candle should have been checked before we went to bed. But the thing that worried me the most, was how many times I had to shout fire before everyone appeared. Now I maybe only talking a matter of seconds, but when you are dealing with fire it is the seconds which count.

How much more damage would have been done if my husband and I had debated who was going to go downstairs to investigate? Another minute or two.....it does not bare thinking about.

That fire alarm saved our home and possibly our lives.

Healthy Easting for children

2007-02-20T13:07:00.000Z

Healthy Eating for Children

I was so pleased to see on TV last week, the school dinner ladies who had been invited to lunch with Prince Charles. Well done them.

It was also interesting listening to one deputy head being interviewed about the challenge of introducing healthy children's meals into school. As he put it and I certainly really empathise with this. "Children will sink to the lowest denominator with food".

My interpretation of that is simple. Offer children burger and chips or cottage pie and vegetables, and you will find the vast majority will choose the least healthy.

So you really do wonder whose bright idea it was to offer children so many choices?

When I was at junior school we used to have a cooked dinner and pudding. No choice - and although I do remember the odd dodgy menu. (Salad I never liked). No one ever starved to death.

Eating our lunch at set tables with the top year serving was an event. Now children have to queue for meals, sometimes have to eat their lunch in classrooms. So the whole "lunch" event has disappeared.

Of course it is the same in many offices. Lots of people grab something at the local sandwich shop and eat lunch a their desk. This has been proved not only to be pretty unhygienic but also a bad work practice. People need a break, especially if they are sat in front of a computer screen all day.

But as with the status that comes with the number of emails you receive, some offices work ethic is to work through your lunch hour - it shows you are busy. But the thing is, being busy, is not necessarily productive. Then of course, the other bad habit that creeps up, is sitting down in front of the telly to eat.

So perhaps we need to look at setting an example in the work place, as well as at home. After all how can we expect our children to have healthy habits if we do not set a half decent example ourselves.

There are loads of programs on television now which show us the damage we are doing to our own and our children's health. There is also a confirmed link between behaviour and diet, so lets stop taking the easy option on the food stakes.

And if you are not a good cook don't despair. All you need is a few "signature dishes" which you can rustle up easily. And to find these I would look to your favourite celebrity chef. My favourites are Jamie Oliver and Anthony Worrell Thomson - personally like their no fuss approach to cooking. Their enthusiasm and laid back approach has certainly given me the confidence to cook things which I probably would not have attempted to do for a week night supper.

So lets back Jamie Oliver and the healthy school meals by running our own healthy food campaign back home.

For time saving tips and practical ideas visit Diana at http://www.helpforbusymums.com

UK Children -are they really that miserable and unfulfilled

2007-02-19T18:09:00.000Z

Last week the press were reporting on how UK children are bottom of the table when it comes to being happy and fulfilled.

Although this report talked about poverty it also highlighted family breakdown. Now there are a lot of ways you can describe what family breakdown is.

The one which of course springs to everyones mind is the number of single parent families there now are.

Now I have not read the report - so maybe I am commenting out of turn, what I am reflecting on is the articles and media reports which I have read and seen on the news.

My point is that a family can be broken even when they have two parents. Surely it is the quality of the parenting and the support that each individual family can call upon that is important. And when I say support, I mean family, friends and as a last resort professional services.

I say this because as someone who has been a single parent - not out of choice - but out of necessity, I found myself entering this scary alternative world for parents with a feeling I had failed, not only as a person but as a parent. This is not a good way to approach life.

Actually that sounds a little too harsh. What I am trying to say, rather badly is that, it is hard enough being a single parent without everyone assuming your children and you are more likely to go off the rails.

There are an awful lot of single parents doing a pretty good job in sometimes very difficult circumstances, which most of them never thought they would find themselves in.

Instead of negative criticism positive support would be more helpful.

The thing which I find slightly irritating is, there must have always been single parent families. Lets face it, with two world wars and not even penicillin available, there were a lot of widows and widowers around. On top of that, any woman in an abusive relationship would have no choice but to sit it out, as apart from probably being unable to work it was even difficult if not impossible to get a divorce, and the stigma associated with divorce was unbearable for many to even contemplate.

So with even more death, angst and poverty our forebears manged quite well. So what are we doing differently?

Now I am sure there is a percentage of people who are not good at controlling their children. The parents are not interested in them, and where the kids do not have any positive role models to follow.

What is interesting is that I bet you could talk to any number of teachers who would be able to highlight at an early age- probably before they were even ten years old the kids these very kids which are heading for trouble.

We should use this information to target those kids for extra support. It would probably help the teachers and the other children in the class as these are the very children who are likely to be disruptive right from an early age.

Of course, I do think lack of discipline is to blame as is lack of peoples accountability. I find it incredible that it is only after the recent killings in London that the law is now going to look at stricter sentences for seventeen to twenty one years olds. Even that probably does not go far enough.

It is also true to say that the drug culture plays a big part. Drugs change peoples personalities and values and sometimes even the best parents have found their beloved children have fallen fowl of this demon.

Anyway I am drifting, what I am trying to say is don't generalise. I know - it is true that two loving parents in a traditional family unit is the ideal, but not every person has the luxury of that kind of upbringing whether they live with a Mum and Dad or just one parent.

Lets focus on the quality of the relationship we all have with our children, and how we can improve on it. And maybe how we can offer support to others who are having a tough time. That way we are not looking at where people have come from but focusing on where they are going - which is a much more positive take on life.

Valentines Day

2007-02-12T17:48:00.000Z

What does Valentines Day mean to you?

Although Valentines day is meant to be a love thing .... it can also make you feel that you are really unloved and alone!

I am sure most people must have spent a Valentine when they have felt "un valentined".

The different ages of the Valentine

Think about it, when you are young (if you were like me), you would secretly hope that anonymous bouquet of flowers, would land unexpectedly on your doorstep, from some admiring, rich good looking guy, who "has just noticed you". And year on year disappointment follows because that anonymous guy, generous enough to spend a fortune on a severely inflated bunch of red roses never materialises!

I know of plenty of people who have been driven to such depths of despair with Valentines day, hat they have gone out and sent themselves a card. I have one friend who admitted years later, that she sent herself some flowers, on one particular sad and lonely Valentines.

It would be interesting to know the she statistics for those of us who have sunk to such depths. There probably is multi million pound turnover, just on this, truth be known.

But I don't think many people would be prepared to own up to it

Eventually Hurrah! You join the Valentines Club.

Your partner may not be the romantic type, but you do exchange cards and after the initial Bridget Jones smugness of having a boyfriend and actually getting a Valentine card, flowers and maybe even a romantic dinner, you take it all rather for granted.

That is until you approach a Valentines Day feeling sad and lonely because you have split from your boyfriend/husbandt!

One particularly February I was newly single and feeling rather "alone". I really did not mind being alone - it was in fact a lot better than being with someone who was not right. However as Valentines day approached, whether I was sitting watching the television, reading a magazine or just wondering round the shops all I could see was stuff being advertised for Valentines Day. Even the restaurants I walked past had boards outside inviting people to book romantic candle lit dinners. Just what you need to give you a lift, when you are feeling sad and lonely.

I suddenly seemed to be the only single person left in the world. My brain seemed to be doing google like searches and all the searches displayed loving couples. It was as if my subconscious was hard-wired to seeing anything vaguely romantic.

Wherever I went everyone seemed to be with someone - apart from me. I really did feel like Billy No Mates.

So if you are having a good Valentines Day this year, spare a thought for all those who are putting a brave face on it. Maybe you can send them a card!

Remember most of us have been there sometime...and as my Dad always says, "nothing ever stays the same". So you never know by next year you will be back in the Valentines Club - and even feeling a little smug.

http://www.helpforbusymums.com

Good Morning TV Highlighting Domestic Violence

2007-02-08T11:42:00.000Z

This week the day time TV show has been highlighting the problems of domestic violence.
It is such good campaign and I am so glad that shows like Good Morning do from time make a point of highlighting this secret nightmare which thousands of people live in.

One of the problems I believe is that many people suffer domestic violence - and do not even realise that this is what is happening to them.

This can be demonstrated even when there is extreme violence. People outside of this experience find it difficult to understand, why it often takes so long for people to leave the relationship even when they have finally accepted they are a victim of it.

For many of us, the definition of Domestic Violence is physical violence which happens on a regular basis - by which I mean every week or so. There is also a profile of the kind of person who is likely to experience it. Both these definitions are inaccurate. Domestic violence cuts across class, race, money and culture. It happens in every walk of life.

Threats of violence, or being pushed , shoved , shaken, punched or throttled even once is unacceptable and constitutes domestic violence.

Mental abuse is even more difficult to identify. "Tip toeing" around someone, or being frightened of the reaction you are likely to receive - in itself can be as symptom of control and abuse of power and needs to be addressed.

As a doctor I knew once said "No body needs to lay a finger on you" for you to be a battered wife or husband!

Anyone who feels they could be a victim of this needs to talk to someone, their GP is often a good place start or visit - or go on line and ring the number listed on your local domestic violence website.

Visit http://wwww.helpforbusymums.com

Bullying and Big Brother

2007-02-06T16:08:00.000Z

In the UK the last two or three weeks the media has written loads of stuff on the antics which went on in the Celebrity Big Brother house.

I have never really been a fan of these programs, but unfortunately for me my teenage daughters really love it, and worse still my (lovely) husband who is their Step Dad says he wants to watch it as a "bonding experience with the girls". Although I am hugely sceptical about his claim, the upshot of this was that if I wanted to enjoy some family TV time then perhaps I should watch it too.

In fact I found it quite an eye opener in lots of ways. Although it is probably safe to say how the programme was edited is very much open for discussion.

What it highlighted to me were situations which go on in many schools, work places all over the world. Bullying. The trouble is people constantly turn a blind eye - or make excuses for this negative behaviour, - which in my book is totally unacceptable.

The format sadly often runs the same. Strong Person - has some rather easily lead (weaker) friends and pick on someone else. Many people stand by and do little to intercept the situation, probably hoping it will blow over or in some cases do not want to upset the "Strong Person".
The thing about bullying - is it is often a secret terror, particularly with women where the attacks are verbal.

Normally the bully or "the Strong Person" does not get "discovered" quite so publicly as Jade Goodey was.

I saw Carole Malone interviewed shortly after "the incident" on Big Brother - and she said it would never of happened if I had been there. " And I don't think it would have. She would have told Jade Goodey to shut up and sort herself out.

Bullying is almost always prompted by there being something "different" about the targeted person. They could be posh, poor, fat or skinny, clever, pretty.....the list goes on.

Jade Goodey has been vilified - I am not sure that is right. The press could be seen to being bullies themselves if they choose to "pick on people".

What I do think should come out of this are some good things.... and hopefully that is happening.

Shilpa showed great strength of character and quite rightly has come out the "hero" in all this which I am sure is going to help other victims of bullying realise, that bullying can happen to anyone.

I also hear from the news that Jermaine Jackson is spending time visiting schools talking about bullying - he was a victim of bullying.

Maybe those who adopt this kind of "bitching" that was going on with Jade and her little gang will be a little more aware of their own behaviour.

And maybe the odd school and work place where they are aware of situations but leaving them to run their course ... for whatever reason may now choose to intercept the situation.

I hope so anyway.

Diana Groves

visit us at:

http://www.Helpforbusymums.com

2007-02-05T10:46:00.000Z

See my website - www.helpforbusymums.com