Busy Mums

When your children start to drive

Todays blog from the Busy Mums Blog is about my daughter passing her driving test. For more stuff for Busy Mums visit my website: http://www.helpforbusymums.com

Today my daughter passed her driving test. What a relief. The last few weeks my daughter has gone from being nought to ninety in emotional maintenance.

Generally C is really easy going and laid back so it always comes as a bit of shock when she moves into top gear.

The pattern for her nerves were set after she failed her theory test a couple of times. For those of you in the know, there is now a hazard perception test and the highway code. She managed to pass each one individually - and at £21.50 a time it made the whole event frustrating and expensive, particularly as she had managed to pass each examination, but not at the same time.

The thing which is scary about C's behaviour is I can see so much of myself in her. Because sadly when something really gets to me, I know I become incredibly high maintenance and needy too.

So having some empathy of what C is going through, I have been trying to offer as much unconditional support as possible. As a result I have made sure I was available to drive her down to the theory test centre, walk her to the building, see her in the door - all whilst giving her positive visualisation techniques to practice!

It reminded me of her first day at school, but I seem to remember that she didn't even give me a backward glance then.

On each occasion, once I had "dropped her off", (for the test that is), I then wandered along to my favourite coffee shop and passed the time sipping a latte.

I still wonder what the staff must have though when twice within a month my daughter arrived at the door of the coffee shop in floods of tears.

Sympathetic drinks were delivered to our table in hushed and appropriately sombre tones and I could see the staff whispering, trying to work out what on earth was going on. I should have put them out of their misery really and explain it was nothing life threatening . C had just failed her theory test.

Finally and thankfully for both my family and the coffee shop staff, C eventually managed to pass both tests at the same time.

But now we had to move on the the practical test. (I hate to say it but I was filled with dread - I failed my test multiple times mainly because my nerves got the better of me).

The date was booked and I was informed that under no circumstances was I to pass this highly confidential information on to anybody else in the family. In the background of course there is latent competition going on amongst her friends who were also learning to drive, all adding to this unhealthy pressure.

As the date drew nearer I was also dispatched to the shops to get in a supply of calms and rescue remedy.

The day came, our contrived story why C was not going into school first thing seemed to pass unquestioned. And then at 9am C disappeared for a driving lesson which would be followed by her test.

I calculated that the 40 minute test would be over by 11:30 am which meant if I had not heard anything shortly after that then the likelihood was she had failed.

When no phone call materialised I found myself looking out of the window in readiness for her arrival home. Maybe she was waiting to tell me the good news (I remember feebly hoping).

When I saw C get out of the car - there was no doubt in my mind that she had failed ...... she fell through the door sobbing.....

I must admit I felt sorry for the driving instructor, who later told me she was relieved that someone was at home when they arrived back. (I had never realised what an emotionally stressful job teaching people to drive must be - not to mention the additional counselling skills which are required!)

Anyway after a weekend of C feeling cross and upset C was just about back on course for test number two.

Three weeks later there was a repeat of the whole drama. I was instructed to buy further supplies of calms and rescue remedy. Although I knew she was taking her test I was not allowed to communicate I knew, or even say good luck as she disappeared off in the morning.

Once again I calculated the time she would call me - if she passed. Of course I could not concentrate on anything all morning. It was with great relief to hear that the good news that she had passed.

C's driving instructor was also highly relieved too and C , as you would expect was like the cat who had got a crateful of cream .

So all's well that ends well. Mmmm Not quite... I am of course pleased - but if I am really honest also a bit worried, because of course now she is a young and inexperienced driver ....

So now there seems to have been a transference of stress and worry.
Instead of my daughter worrying about passing her test I am now worrying because she has passed her test!!

Life was so much simpler when she was little and was only allowed to play in the garden!

For more stuff for Busy Mums visit my website: http://www.helpforbusymums.com

Labels: busy mums, driving test, road safety, teenagers

posted by Diana and Steve @ 12:48