If you are tearing your hair out with the weather and the kids are already driving you potty then you might want to try doing something different.
When life isn't going smoothly it can be really easy to grumble and moan about everything that is going wrong, or getting on your nerves, but never actually doing anything about it. (And then guess what things get even worse).
I know I am guilty of this sometimes. Sometimes it is because we are stuck and just can not decide on the best course of action to take. Sometimes it is just because we quite enjoying doing the victim thing.
Often we will seek the advice and support of friends who will share their solutions and observations of the situation, which we then completely ignore and carry on talking about our latest problem.
And if you are the one on the receiving end of the grumbling, how frustrating is that!
Perspective and objectivity is a great thing and we all possess it but not about ourselves.
So if something is getting you down or irritating you try taking a step back and tackling the problem in a different way.
Still stuck - then talk to a friend or a close family member and ask how they see the problem.
Listen to what they say and rather than disregard it with the familiar yes...... but.....syndrome, see how perhaps you can take some, or all of their wise words and use it.
You never know you might not get what you have always got but something different and a lot better.
Now I am off to take my own advice.
Labels: busy mothers, happy kids, keeping kids busy
Whew the girls exams are over. The bits of paper scattered all around the house can be peeled off the walls, doors and ceiling. ( Daughter number four, has an important history diagram situated conveniently above her bed.) I am just hoping that it does not peel off the paint as well!
Exams, for most kids are very stressful and yet as someone who went through this "in the olden days" , I don't remember the pressure being as bad as it has become now. Nor the constant comment that the exams are getting easier. Which I guess will be the next predictable news item on education in August, when the exam results are out.
It seems like every year this criticism is levelled. It certainly was when my two eldest children took their GCSE's and A levels some years ago. The charge is always the same. The exams are getting easier and standards are declining.
As a parent, and someone who is lucky enough to know a few teachers I really do not believe this to be the case. (Certainly the exam papers I have seen baffle me - and I would like to think I received quite a good education as I attended a local grammar school.) Certainly the teachers work a lot harder and are monitored a lot more closely. I also have a strong recollection when I took my exams that there was less parity between the exam Boards.
Maybe the teachers coach the children specifically to pass the exams. But who can blame them for doing that, with schools performance being so closely monitored. Anyway, in my opinion, any good teacher or private tutor will always have done that.
What I do know is that they are now taught how to revise. Something I never remember being "coached" in. Hence all the signs round the house.
My theory is that there is so much more for us to have to get to grips with these days. Not only do we have all the old traditional subjects but some new subjects including IT, graphic design and technology. Schools are expected to fit a lot more into the day - and that must be tough to do when the school days is the same length (maybe even a little shorter) than it used to be.
More importantly there are also many more distractions inside even in the best run homes, which makes less likely for kids to settle down and read a good book. They are more likely to be talking on MSN, watching a DVD, playing a computer game or listening to their Ipod.
None of this entertainment was available thirty years ago. And if you are a Mum like me who is constantly trying to encourage hobbies, this can shoot you in the foot too. Daughter number four, who is a keen army cadet, struggles to fit in her homework.
What is the answer - I really don't know, but generally in life positive affirmation produces better results than constant criticism. And I am sure that must go for teachers as well as kids.
Labels: GCSE exams, happy kids, school holidays parents, school league tables
Something definitely needs to be done about binge drinking. But I do not think prosecuting parents for introducing alcohol to children under fifteen years old is quite the best way to go about educating our young people about the hazards of drink.
You just have to look at Europe. France, Spain and Italy do not have anywhere near the same regulations surrounding alcohol, yet they do not have the same problems.
In southern Europe in particular the culture encourages families to socialise together. Older generations with the younger ones.
In the UK we tend to segregate our social lives to adult only venues and even age related venues. I think this is where the kudos behind youngsters getting drunk comes from. It makes them feel grown up... and growing up too quick gets a lot of us into trouble.
We also separate our social venues into places where you specifically go to to drink alcohol and where you go to eat.
If you are young it is likely that if you want to go to a bar - you will drink and guess what you will get drunk because there is nothing else to do at that bar.
Then of course they all roll out of the bar -dehydrated and hungry into the local Chinese takeaway where there is a punch up!
I think education at school on the pitfalls of alcohol is the way forward and of course heavily reinforced at home.
But will the schools have time along with all the other social education they have to do?
Well there lies another can of worms. In my opinion we spend too much time teaching our children about things which will not help them in later life.
visit me at http:www.helpforbusymums.com
Labels: alcohol, alcohol abuse, bbc news, education, happy kids
Saturday was my youngest daughters Prom. To be honest I had never heard or quite understood what a Prom was until I moved to
Ringwood. Although an American tradition I am reliably informed by daughter number two that
Ringwood have been holding Proms for many many years.
The first
Ringwood Prom I experienced shortly after I moved down here. I was trying to leave our local Health Club one Friday evening after taking my girls swimming. There was a mass of people outside, together with a stream of limousines and young women dressed like film stars, with a lot of young men in Black Tie.
Whilst negotiating my way through the crowd I managed to ask one lady what was going on. She replied excitedly "its the Prom, my
granddaughter is in it - you must stay and watch."
I did. There were
Ferrari's, tanks, boys on Penny farthings, Fire Engines to name just a few of the vehicles which were transporting the students. With every car that arrived there was whooping and shouting and lots of cameras flashing. The kids were treated like royalty.
Even so I did not quite realise the planning and angst which goes into making sure you have an appropriate form of transport and the right gear to wear. It takes months sometimes years of planning and saving!
This week it occurred to me I have now turned into that lady I spoke briefly to outside the health club. I was really excited about my daughters Prom.
Days before I found myself talking to random people about the Prom, including the
Tesco delivery man. - I was telling him how I hoped the weather would be good as it was my daughters Prom. He looked a bit bemused, (he obviously did not know what a Prom was). After he left my daughter number two told me I was behaving like it was a wedding.
Well it is a bit like that really. No expense is spared on hair being put up, manicures, a dress, evening shoes and bag. The girls are treated like Princess's for a day and the boys in their
DJ's do really look like they are acting out their favourite James Bond fantasy,
unphased by the fact that many of them (who have not yet had their growing spurt) are around a foot shorter than their female escorts.
I know it is decadent and yes it is completely over the top but there is also something very special about a Prom.
Well was it all worth it. Yes. At 11:30pm daughter number three burst through the door shouting "it was the best day of my life ever!!" I know she will always have fond memories of her Prom. ... I am really glad she enjoyed it so much.
Just wish we had Proms when I was her age! I love dressing up! Maybe they could start holding them for the parents as well?
Visit me at
http://www.helpforbusymums.com
Labels: busy mums, confident teens, happy kids, happy teens, prom, teenage girls
