Whew the girls exams are over. The bits of paper scattered all around the house can be peeled off the walls, doors and ceiling. ( Daughter number four, has an important history diagram situated conveniently above her bed.) I am just hoping that it does not peel off the paint as well!
Exams, for most kids are very stressful and yet as someone who went through this "in the olden days" , I don't remember the pressure being as bad as it has become now. Nor the constant comment that the exams are getting easier. Which I guess will be the next predictable news item on education in August, when the exam results are out.
It seems like every year this criticism is levelled. It certainly was when my two eldest children took their GCSE's and A levels some years ago. The charge is always the same. The exams are getting easier and standards are declining.
As a parent, and someone who is lucky enough to know a few teachers I really do not believe this to be the case. (Certainly the exam papers I have seen baffle me - and I would like to think I received quite a good education as I attended a local grammar school.) Certainly the teachers work a lot harder and are monitored a lot more closely. I also have a strong recollection when I took my exams that there was less parity between the exam Boards.
Maybe the teachers coach the children specifically to pass the exams. But who can blame them for doing that, with schools performance being so closely monitored. Anyway, in my opinion, any good teacher or private tutor will always have done that.
What I do know is that they are now taught how to revise. Something I never remember being "coached" in. Hence all the signs round the house.
My theory is that there is so much more for us to have to get to grips with these days. Not only do we have all the old traditional subjects but some new subjects including IT, graphic design and technology. Schools are expected to fit a lot more into the day - and that must be tough to do when the school days is the same length (maybe even a little shorter) than it used to be.
More importantly there are also many more distractions inside even in the best run homes, which makes less likely for kids to settle down and read a good book. They are more likely to be talking on MSN, watching a DVD, playing a computer game or listening to their Ipod.
None of this entertainment was available thirty years ago. And if you are a Mum like me who is constantly trying to encourage hobbies, this can shoot you in the foot too. Daughter number four, who is a keen army cadet, struggles to fit in her homework.
What is the answer - I really don't know, but generally in life positive affirmation produces better results than constant criticism. And I am sure that must go for teachers as well as kids.
Labels: GCSE exams, happy kids, school holidays parents, school league tables
I have just sent out my monthly Busy Mums Bulletin. It is always an opportunity to have a think and try and put something which I think people like me may find useful and informative.
I thought it might be useful to put this excerpt into my the Busy Mums Blogg - for my entry today. You never know someone somewhere with a problem may find it a good way of tackling something which to date they have drawn a blank with.
I was once away at sales conference and speaking to a very successful man. And when I say successful - he seemed very financially successful to me, but more importantly, successful in the personal sense. He was self assured with clear personal values and integrity. Someone who I had a real sense of admiration for on many levels.
This prompted me to ask him what was his secret of success. He said to me "Recognise that every problem has not one solution but many - it will open up your life"
I have always remembered that and I really do now try hard to adopt that philosphy, when I come up against some problem or challenge.
I write down the problem and then all of the solutions I can think of. It does not matter how stupid or outrageous the solutions are - I write them down anyway.
I am not quite sure what happens - but this somehow seems to open up another creative window in my mind and from that appears even more solutions I had not thought of before. The end result, is a path I had not considered, or a "combination solution" which I would not have thought of, if I had not taken these steps. I owe that man a big thank you for his advice.
So next time you have a problem or challenge. It does not matter what area of your life it is - it could be work, relationships, money, or your family....
Try it - it works.
Labels: busy mothers, busy mums, busymums, coaching, parentcoaching, parenting tips, problem solving, school holidays parents, solutions to problems
Now its a School Lottery?
Today the Busy-Mums Blog talks about the School Lottery.Visit http://www.helpforbusymums.com the website resource to help busy mums.
I feel really sorry for those parents in Brighton and Hove, who have suddenly found that the goal posts have changed. From next year (2008), the eligibility of the school they would prefer to send their children to is not the same as it was last week.
The sad thing is that although a computer may now be randomly selecting where a child attends school, there always has been clamor for children to get into the best schools. So its just the same war on a different battlefield.
Wouldn't it be nice if all the schools were "good". Then there would not be so much of a problem ....maybe. But what is the definition of a good school? for most of us it is the school which is top in the league tables. But is that really a true reflection of the success of a school or its pupils?
I am really lucky with the school that my girls attend in
Ringwood, which is just on the Dorset Hampshire border. It has a good name. However parents who are just outside of
Ringwood do struggle to get into the school.
Ringwood is a comprehensive. Dorset still has the old grammar school system, so it makes sense for those children who miss out on the grammar school to try and attend
Ringwood. However it is a real shame they are not confident enough in their local schools.
Of course
Ringwood Comprehensive does not have any where such good results as the Bournemouth Grammar Schools which has a strict selection process.
The selection process also happens on a less transparent basis in some parts of the country where the
SATS become a "tool" in the process of selection, within some supposedly non selective schools. Guess what their results in the League Tables are also going to be good.
To me this is
divisive. Any school which is taking children of lower academic ability, is not going to do so well in the league tables. Yet the child may have made significantly more progress than their opposite number in a selective school where the children have a higher academic ability.
Now I know of one school, which a friend of mine started teaching at a couple of years ago. She joined this school which is highly regarded, from having taught at quite a tough co ed school in a neighbouring town.
She was delighted to be moving to a single sex school which parents fought to get their children into. However her delight turned very quickly to horror. The lesson plans were non existent, the staff room moral was very low.
Absence among teachers was high.
When my friend compared the two schools - the better school in terms of commitment to the children, positive ethos and quality of teaching was undoubtedly the tough co ed school. Of course its results were no where as good as the single sex school, which has been languishing on its laurels and past reputation.
As a school it may well be delivering beyond the expected standards set by the government - but that school maybe well be failing based on the progress of each child.
And lets face it , given the demographics of the school, it is likely the pupils which are attending are probably more academic and have more proactive parents in the first place.
All I can say is that I am really glad that my kids do not go there..
We should take far more interest how the children have developed throughout their school career. Lets face it, if you have a child who has always had a natural academic
ability - of course you want that to be invested in. But equally if your child has been a slow starter - the teaching and school experience is almost more vital.
Kids being in a happy, enthusiastic environment is the one thing which will empower children to learn and enjoy school. To me that is far more important than basing how good a school is purely on the League Tables.
So lets start working hard to make all schools good and particular recognition for the schools where children are seem to improve the most because that is what makes difference between success and failure.
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Labels: best schools, children, school holidays parents, school league tables, selection
The End of Half Term
Half Term has just ended and mayhem seems to reign in my house.
I always thought that the older children got the more you can delegate and the less I would have to tackle.
I don't think I am the only Mum who feels like this. As I was browsing round
Waitrose I over heard two women talking. One said to the other how untidy her son's bedroom was, but his idea of tidying it up was to take all the clothes lying on the floor and put them in the dirty linen basket.
Because their clothes are bigger they take up more room and there seems a lot more of them than there was when they were small. Also "they" decide when they are dirty. And given the choice between hanging something up and putting it out to be washed. They take the easier option. And you can guess what that is.
They eat more, normally more than the adults - make more mess and don't always clear up when you want them to; as they are too busy, conveniently doing homework, which of course you certainly do not want to discourage.
Then there is the blossoming social life which often means that every evening is interrupted by Mummy mini cab service, free prompt and available whenever required. Actually my kids always complain I am not very prompt - but I am reliable.
When they were little I chose their friends and when and where they went, and my evening generally were my own.
Then there is the discipline side of things. The naughty step does not work quite the same way. Although the general principle of rewarding good behaviour and intercepting unacceptable behaviour still needs to be addressed.
And of course when they were little I was the all knowing central figure in my
children's lives. They have now realised I was a complete fraud, and they are smarter and capable than me. This leads to my own personal idiosyncrasies having huge comic value.
But
despite all the challenges my kids are still funny, entertaining and constantly surprise me.
And the thing I find interesting is how much I learn from them.
So I guess the chaos is worth it. In a few years the chaos will be replaced by an empty house which does not get untidy. Not sure how much I will like that either.
Labels: families, mums, parenting, school holidays parents
